As I said in my last post, it is much easier to believe that patience is a virtue than it is to practice patience. Becoming more patient with yourself will take time, and will probably involve some trial and error, but as long as you ultimately focus on becoming more patient with yourself and moving forward, inevitable missteps are more than acceptable. This year has tested our patience more than most, and no matter how much your circumstances may be finally starting to improve, it is important to recognize that there will always be things that test your patience. Once you start to realize that, and the more accepting of it you become, the more able you will be to practice patience – not only with yourself, but with others as well.
Just as there will always be things that will test your patience, there will always be things that test the patience of those around you as well. While there are some things, such as the length of the pandemic, that test the patience of just about everyone, most things affect different people in different ways. While you can become more patient with yourself by recognizing and accepting your own strengths and weaknesses, you can become more patient with others by recognizing that even the people who seem to you to have only strengths actually have weaknesses as well. Instead of getting frustrated when a teacher takes longer to return your work than you’d like, try to remember that he or she may need to put more time and effort into grading your work than other teachers do. Instead of getting frustrated when a parent doesn’t seem to have the patience to help you with your work, consider getting help from someone who might know the subject matter better, be more patient with your struggles with it, or both. Instead of getting frustrated when a peer is not pulling his or her weight on a group project, try to find a way to help him or her become more involved – you can even suggest that he or she apply some of the study skills you are working on!
Just as becoming more patient with yourself means recognizing that like many study skills and life skills, it is something you most likely will need to continue to strive to improve throughout your life, becoming more patient with others means recognizing that they, too, are still striving to become more patient with themselves, as well as with you. It probably didn’t take much effort for you to notice just how much your teachers and parents’ patience was tried over this past year. Hopefully, you also noticed how hard they tried to be patient with you, and were able in turn to be more patient with them. Recognizing that circumstances, no matter how expected or unexpected they may be, can try everyone’s patience in different ways and to different degrees can help you be more patient with them. Just as you can always strive to be more patient, so others can, too. They, like you, may still lose patience at times and need you to cut them a break, just as you would wish that they would do for you. Accepting that the best you can do is good enough, and expecting others to accept it as well means that you owe them the same courtesy and respect.
Just as becoming more patient with yourself takes time and effort, so becoming more patient with others does, too. In addition to recognizing that becoming more patient is an uneven, lifelong process, it is also important to recognize that whenever you practice patience, it requires you to slow down and think things through. Trying to see things from someone else’s perspective, taking the time to listen to what he or she has to say, and both accepting and offering help without becoming frustrated are all examples of how you can take the time and make the effort to practice patience. There are many other examples, of course, but the most important thing to remember, no matter the situation or circumstance, is that the more patient you are with yourself and with those around you, the better off you’ll be.
Just as becoming more patient with yourself is something that can be practiced, developed, and improved over time, so becoming more patient with others is, too. Recognizing that everyone faces moments when they lose patience, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses that cause them to lose patience at different times for different reasons, and that the key to practicing patience with both yourself and others is to put time and effort into it, just as you would any other study skill or life skill, can help you become not only more patient and more successful, but more understanding and more compassionate as well.