Of all the things teachers, parents, and other well-meaning adults might say to try to encourage you in your studies, perhaps one of the most frustrating is “you have potential.” If anyone has ever said this to you, and you have reacted negatively to it, rest assured that my take on it, as with so many things I’ve written about in other posts, will be different than what you might be expecting. Even if this statement may have bothered you in the past, keep reading, because you just might find that you will be able to see it in a more positive light after all. Whether you are ready to believe it at this moment or not, each and every one of you does indeed have potential, and as with so many other things on your study skills journey, changing your focus from reacting negatively in the moment to becoming more positive about it as you work to improve your study skills is the best way to realize the potential you have.
One of the reasons “you have potential” is such a tempting thing for adults to say is that while you may be frustrated by the challenges you face with your work, they are just as frustrated when they believe you can do better with it than you are. If teachers believe you are capable of doing what they ask of you, they may become frustrated when you don’t follow through on assignments, don’t prepare for tests, and/or don’t ask for help. If they see you are struggling and offer their help, or revise their plans and expectations in hopes that more of their students will see greater success, and you don’t respond with greater effort, they may well become even more frustrated and even more tempted to believe you are not living up to your potential. Parents, too, often believe that you can do better than you are and that you are not living up to their expectations or taking full advantage of the support they offer. If any of these things may be true of your teachers and parents, try to see things from their point of view: even if you don’t agree with their assessment of your situation, remember that no matter what they say or do to show it, what they want more than anything else is for you to do the best you possibly can with your studies, so you can be as prepared as possible for future success.
Another reason parents and teachers are tempted to say “you have potential” is that they are genuinely excited any time they see you do something well, and they want to see you keep doing it. As I’ve often said in previous posts, it is just as important to celebrate your successes as it is to try to improve upon your failures, perhaps even more so. If you do something well or have a positive experience with your work and a teacher or parent says you have potential, take it as a compliment and try to build on it. When you are frustrated and struggling, it can be tempting to take positive comments with a grain of salt. Try to remember instead that no matter how difficult your situation may be, teachers and parents usually will try to see the good in it, and that the more you learn to do that, too, the better off you’ll be.
Whether your parents and teachers are expressing frustration, excitement, or different emotions at different times when they say “you have potential,” the best way to turn it from a negative to a positive is to look at each situation you find yourself in when you hear it as honestly as you possibly can and respond accordingly. Treat it as you would any piece of study skills advice that you are given – if it helps to motivate you to make improvements or build on successes, great, but if it only frustrates you more and you wish you’d never heard it, try to ignore it and shift your focus to other encouraging words or ideas you’ve been given. If hearing “you have potential” bothers you so much that you can’t get past your negative reaction to it, speak up. If you let your teachers and parents know you are frustrated, they might just come up with more encouraging words and other suggestions you will find more helpful. No matter what you think of the words “you have potential,” the one thing you should never do is allow them to eat away at you and keep you from pushing ahead on your study skills journey. Even if it may seem like it sometimes, that is the last thing anyone who says those words to you would ever want you to do.
“You have potential” may well be one of the most frustrating phrases you will ever hear a teacher or parent say, but that does not mean it isn’t true. Whether you want to hear it or not, each and every one of you has the potential to be successful, both in school and in life. It is not the words themselves that matter – it’s what you do with them that counts. Seeing them as words of encouragement on your study skills journey instead of letting them bother you and hold you back is the best way to turn something negative into something positive, and the more you are able to do that, the more you will come to realize that you do indeed have potential after all.